Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
