Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
