i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
