it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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