Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
