Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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