my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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