I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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