Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
