I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize