He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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