your parents love me but you hate me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize