There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He passed out mid-signature
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
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She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
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So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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