I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
