Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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