dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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