I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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