You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
