If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
