I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
