So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
