just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize