you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
