You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
