My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
