so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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