I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
