haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
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He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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