so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm at about main and main street
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
