guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
