U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize