I want to walk on stilts...naked
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
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you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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