question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
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