we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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