ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
