How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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