none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize