This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
birth control should be required to get into college
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize