you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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