Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize