I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Girls should come with a carfax report
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
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He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
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Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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