Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
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having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
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My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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