Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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