Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
