sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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