1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
