i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
