Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize