Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
