Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
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