Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
