All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
