I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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