She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
