i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
