After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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