so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If I die, sorry about rent.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
